Humor
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. You can't trust dogs to watch your food. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Don"t wear polka dot underwear with white shorts. The best place to be when you're sad is grandpa's lap. GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED Raising teenagers is like nailing Jello to a tree. Wrinkles don't hurt. Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD Growing up is mandatory, growing old is optional. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do when you're down there. It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.